Day Two of Peace and Excitement

To recap, Monday I left a toxic job, Tuesday I had a great interview for a potential job and today I had an interview for a job that lit a fire in me that I have never felt before! I sat in this interview today and felt like I was in another universe. It was like every dream and every vision I had had my entire life was right there in front of me. The interview went extremely well, and I left feeling fantastic. As I drove home, I had all the feelings. I was excited, terrified, confident, hesitant, peaceful and also confused.

I got home and began to think. When in our lives do we begin to fear? To doubt our decisions, hopes and dreams. I have always told my six children that they could achieve anything they wanted and that they could be anything they wanted. Do they believe me? Am I showing them through my actions and words that that is indeed true? I wonder if the messages I received as a child are what creep into my unconscious when I begin to doubt that what I’m doing is achievable or the right decision. Why do I get so frightened after I make a decision?

To date I have achieved what I set out to do so my track record is good. I set out to get sober and I will hit six years in July. I set out to make amends and repair my relationships and now I am so close to each of my children. I set out to get my first job after sobriety and did so. I then jumped into an industry I had no knowledge of, nailed it and did well for six years. I set out for financial stability after getting sober and went from a mountain of debt and no credit to no debt and good credit. Why is it then that I am so scared? What is always pulling at me to run the other way when I think I know exactly what I want?

I want to spend the rest of today holding on to the excited fire I felt during that interview. I want to spend the rest of the day reminding myself of all the amazing things that I have accomplished and all the reasons that I should follow my dream regardless of what anyone else says, including those old tapes from childhood that keep being played !!! I can do anything I set my mind do and I can be anything I want to be!