EDUCATION NEEDED

As I have been on my healing journey, I have realized that we have a great need for education in our healthcare system. We really need to have far more trauma informed health care providers. Beyond that, there needs to be greater education regarding complex trauma and CPTSD which is far more complicated than someone just suffering from PTSD. I feel very lucky to have a doctor that genuinely cares and makes every effort to understand and provide great care, however, I do feel that a trauma informed healthcare provider could provide more understanding and there would also be less room for misdiagnosis.

Often times: someone like me with severe complex trauma, has thoughts and behaviors that can be extreme or not quite make sense to others, when in fact they are based out of “survival mode” and quite normal to us. When someone has suffered such horrific abuse starting in very early childhood and going on into adulthood, every behavior is based on protecting ourselves and surviving. Complex trauma survivors are often misunderstood and their needs many times go unmet or medical issues are not taken seriously.

On my healing journey, I have done an absorbent amount of reading and research in an attempt to help myself as well as understand myself and I have learned so much. It is mind blowing to me, the devastating effects that long term complex trauma can have on the body. I have been so physically ill this last year, and my body is so worn out, but I am grateful to at least have some understanding now and a place to begin in healing my body. It is definitely difficult in the midst of the emotional struggles, but I have found some things to begin helping myself. I have started a routine of walking most mornings along the beach and that physical exercise is beginning to help with my insomnia. I have for the first time in a year, had five nights in a row of sleeping six hours straight! That is huge for me and gives me extra strength in dealing with everything else.

Many people with complex trauma develop eating disorders and I am not to be excluded. I have struggled with eating since I was a pre-teen and although I have had periods of time throughout my life where I was eating fairly well, it continues to be an issue I struggle with. When I am upset, it is an automatic response my body has to lose its appetite. Additionally, I struggle with how I see myself in the mirror and have excessive guilt when I eat. I am working each day to try and eat so that my health does not get worse. It is a challenge and something I think is also not well understood by most healthcare providers.

I think the biggest thing that I have learned is that the lack of education in our healthcare system does not minimize in any way the things that I am experiencing or suffering from. The more I educate myself, the more compassion I have for myself and the less alone I feel in what I am experiencing. Instead of looking at myself and thinking I am broken or crazy, I realize that having experienced what I have throughout my life, it is actually a miracle that I am here and I’m doing the best I can. I can begin to share what I have learned in the hope of educating those in my life.