JUMP, TAKE A RISK!

I did it! I leapt; I’m taking a risk! I am currently enrolled in school to get my state license as an independent health insurance agent, and I will be starting my own business. A completely new career. I am for the first time in my life, following my dreams and I have to say that it feels absolutely amazing. I have already passed my first exam with 90% and my second exam with 100%!

I would have never imagined seven years ago when I was an alcoholic and addict on the verge of dying, that I would be starting my own business! When I walked into my first AA meeting, I couldn’t imagine how in the world I was going to stay sober for 24 hours. I remember listening to all of the stories about staying for the miracle and I wanted nothing more but thought it was impossible and not meant for me. People would share these amazing stories of 2, 3, 4, 5, 10, 15, 20 years of sobriety and these amazing lives that they had created but I just didn’t believe that it was for me. I never thought I could make it sober 6 months let alone a year.

It was true however, that if I just took it one day at a time, I would get there. Every day I woke up and did my very best, whatever I needed to stay clean and sober for that day. It was very difficult, sometimes feeling impossible and many times I wanted to give up. The next day however, I would get up and do all the things to stay clean and sober yet again. One day turned into two and then into a week, then a month, a year and here we are at year 7 on July first. I honestly cannot believe I made it!

It is actually mind blowing to me that it has been seven years. I have received many of the miracles. I have repaired my relationships with 5 of my 6 kids and made some progress with the sixth one. I have become financially independent and paid off all my old debt! I have put in the work to change my “alcoholic behaviors” and although I have a great deal of work to still do, I am a much better person than I was seven years ago! I am honest, dependable and trustworthy now. Every day I chose to be a better person and although I occasionally fall short, I am giving an honest 100% effort. I have repaired friendships and made amends to those I hurt. My hard work has allowed me to travel and enjoy countless experiences that would have never been possible in active addiction.

Now here I am, getting ready to start my own business and I am so excited and scared at the same time! I know in my heart that I can do this, and I want to be an example to others that it is possible to turn your life into something beautiful. I want my children to be proud of me and that motivates me to keep doing the next right thing. We do recover! This was the life I was meant to have before the horrific abuse that robbed me of my life starting when I was at preschool age. I did not deserve what happened to me, but I DO DESERVE THE LIFE I AM BUILDING!!!