I DECIDE FROM NOW ON

I have long struggled with what other people think. How they believe I should feel, think, act, look, behave, ect… I am honestly tired of that and have found that it only ends up hurting me. No one can know me better than I know myself. No one has walked in my shoes or experienced the things that I have so how could anyone have an opinion about how I should think or feel about something?

I decide from now on just exactly how I feel, what it is I need, and what I mean to say. No one gets to decide. I am deserving of being heard as well as understood and validated. I think that that is imperative to one’s mental health. For far too long, I have felt insignificant and unentitled to my own feelings and that leaves me feeling so alone and often ashamed of my own emotions.

Recently I was faced with a situation where I needed to undergo a medical examination that I knew was going to trigger my PTSD from my past trauma, but I was also aware of the importance of having it done. Sadly, I was beating myself up over my emotions and my fear because of the way others seemed to be approaching the situation. I felt awful and hurt. I went into the appointment very vulnerable and shared with the physician what my feelings, fears and concerns were, and I was met with kindness and validation. It was then that I felt so much better and realized that I am entitled to how I feel and no one else gets to decide.

When I validate my own feelings and decide that I am allowed to have them without shame, I notice how much better I feel overall. I realize that I have allowed this for so long because of the trauma I have endured, and I am sure that I am not the only one who has responded in this way, but I want to change this for myself. I believe that every time I say “no more, you don’t decide” I am allowing myself to get stronger.

EVERYONE DESERVES TO BE HEARD AND VALIDATED. EVERYONE DESERVES TO DECIDE FOR THEMSELVES!