This quote hits home for me. There are so many horrible events that people could define me by and for the better part of my life I believe they did. For the better part of my life, I believe I was doing the same thing to myself, making it hard for others to see beyondContinue reading “I AM SO MUCH MORE”
Category Archives: Uncategorized
I HONESTLY DON’T KNOW
I love this quote so much. I have found myself to be frustrated lately because I want to heal and move forward. I want to leave my past and all the pain and trauma behind and I just don’t know how. I do believe that the easiest first step would simply be to not goContinue reading “I HONESTLY DON’T KNOW”
TIME TO OPEN SOME DOORS
I started closing doors at a very young age because of the abuse that I was enduring and slowly I shut myself off from the outside world because I couldn’t trust it. I stopped trying to build friendships, stopped trying new activities, sometimes I even stopped going outside of my house for weeks at aContinue reading “TIME TO OPEN SOME DOORS”
GRATEFUL TO BE HERE
This quote, in the above photo, could not be more accurate for me! I was probably six or seven when I first thought about vanishing from my existence so that I could escape the abuse I was enduring. Throughout my childhood my ideas were more fantasy based. I would envision someone saving me and takingContinue reading “GRATEFUL TO BE HERE”
EDUCATION NEEDED
As I have been on my healing journey, I have realized that we have a great need for education in our healthcare system. We really need to have far more trauma informed health care providers. Beyond that, there needs to be greater education regarding complex trauma and CPTSD which is far more complicated than someoneContinue reading “EDUCATION NEEDED”
WHAT I MUST TELL MYSELF
Sometimes, surviving recovery seems like a very difficult feat. I have been thinking a lot however, and I am starting to really believe that it is possible. I was fortunate enough to watch my youngest grandson last evening. He is almost five and autistic. He is nonverbal as well. I wanted his parents to beContinue reading “WHAT I MUST TELL MYSELF”
IT’S TIME
I have let it hurt for far too long! It’s definitely time to let it go! After a really long and trying year of trauma work, physical illness, personal setbacks, and a lot of pain, I am feeling ready to let some of it go and learn to breathe again. Holding onto it is definitelyContinue reading “IT’S TIME”
EMOTIONAL GROWTH
I awoke this morning, early, in anticipation of my morning walk on the beach. I have been trying to do this at least every other day to start my day with a fresh mind and fresh eyes. I made a quick cup of coffee, put it in my travel mug and jumped into the car.Continue reading “EMOTIONAL GROWTH”
Breaking Patterns
When one grows up in utter chaos, it becomes the norm and all they know. Time goes on and anything other than chaos feels abnormal, wrong or uncomfortable. It seems then, that it would make sense, that if things are going along calmly, some sort of chaos must come into play to have life feelContinue reading “Breaking Patterns”
THEN CAME A GLIMMER
It’s been dark for almost a year now. A shadow following me, always right there, never leaving me. I tried to hide from it, tried to run from it but I couldn’t. The shadow was quite large as it held so much! It held all of my past traumas, it held my deepest fears asContinue reading “THEN CAME A GLIMMER”
A PAIN LIKE NO OTHER
It is amazing how one can believe they have felt the deepest pain and sat in the darkest moments, only to realize there was more deep pain and more dark moments that would have to be visited. I have been in such deep physical and emotional pain for the last four weeks and there areContinue reading “A PAIN LIKE NO OTHER”
FEELING GUT PUNCHED
Today I feel like I was punched in my gut, and it really stinks. I made the mistake of trusting something and was extremely let down and now I am trying to deal with the emotions that have come out of it. I learned long, long ago as a child that the only person IContinue reading “FEELING GUT PUNCHED”
FOOD AND PAIN
The quote in the photo is so true for me! But I did something courageous this time. I shared that I had fallen back into my eating disorder. It has been two weeks since I’ve eaten and I didn’t know exactly why at first. I have begun to work on all my trauma. I haveContinue reading “FOOD AND PAIN”
A FRIGHTENING FAMILIAR FEELING
I have been working on my trauma and doing a lot of writing. This has definitely affected my sleeping habits and kicked my anxiety and eating disorder into high gear. I have opened up some deep wounds and caused myself extreme pain in the process. I knew going into this work that it was goingContinue reading “A FRIGHTENING FAMILIAR FEELING”
THE SALAMI SANDWICH
When I was a little girl, one of the things that symbolized joy was the salami sandwich my grandmother would make me when I came to visit. I barely had food in my own home and if I did, it wasn’t anything as fancy as salami. I visited my grandmother often, especially in the summers.Continue reading “THE SALAMI SANDWICH”
The Parentless Parent 