After working on my mental health over the last year and making a decision to change careers, I have faced some roadblocks that are knocking my mental health backwards. I have been physically ill for a while now, but it has become much worse, and I am undergoing surgery soon. I was in the ERContinue reading “PHYSICAL ILLNESS AND MENTAL HEALTH”
Tag Archives: mental-health
I DECIDE FROM NOW ON
I have long struggled with what other people think. How they believe I should feel, think, act, look, behave, ect… I am honestly tired of that and have found that it only ends up hurting me. No one can know me better than I know myself. No one has walked in my shoes or experiencedContinue reading “I DECIDE FROM NOW ON”
AFRAID OF WHAT’S THROUGH THERE
It can be very frightening to trust that what is through there, through the darkness, on the other side is going to be something wonderful. I think it can be even more of a challenge if in the past, what was on the other side, turned out to be hurtful or damaging to the mind,Continue reading “AFRAID OF WHAT’S THROUGH THERE”
TIRED OF MAKING MYSELF SMALL
Seems that I have spent my whole life making myself into whatever it was that I thought would allow me to be noticed, to be worthy, and to be lovable and I am done doing that now. I have made myself weak, helpless, sick, perfect, thin, obedient and so many more things that I didn’tContinue reading “TIRED OF MAKING MYSELF SMALL”
AN ESCAPE TO RESET
Sometimes while on the healing journey, you unintentionally go running at full speed into a brick wall. It’s not like you did this on purpose at all. You’re running because you are feeling energetic and excited about the journey, and things are going well. Then all of a sudden out of nowhere, BAM, full forceContinue reading “AN ESCAPE TO RESET”
Sometimes you have to let go
Sometimes you just have to realize that you’re not going to get the support and it’s going to hurt like hell. There comes a point when you have to realize that you have done all you can do to reach out, to be honest, to ask for what you need and you’re just not goingContinue reading “Sometimes you have to let go”
STOP TELLING ME TO GET OVER IT!
Today I find myself rather angry and frustrated with other’s perceptions and thoughts about my recovery journey. I came across this post from Dr. Doyle and just yelled, “YES!” It felt so good and so validating to read something; especially from a professional, that resonated so deeply with me. I am having such a hardContinue reading “STOP TELLING ME TO GET OVER IT!”
SILENTLY SUFFERING
I often wonder what it would feel like to be surrounded by people who care and have people to turn to for support in times of difficulty. I have mastered the art of surviving on my own as well as alone, but I do wonder how it would feel if that wasn’t the case. IContinue reading “SILENTLY SUFFERING”
BREATHTAKING HEARTACHE
Being a parent has to be the hardest thing one can do. If it doesn’t pain you then I don’t think you’re doing it right. The older your babies get, the harder it is and the more you realize you have no idea what you’re doing. When they are little, the worries are kind ofContinue reading “BREATHTAKING HEARTACHE”
WHY IS IT SO HARD TO FEEL?
I am aware, and on many occasions, reminded that I need to learn to regulate my emotions. This is unfortunately something that I never learned as a child. Growing up in a home where you had to bury your emotions made it very difficult to understand them. I was not allowed to show sadness orContinue reading “WHY IS IT SO HARD TO FEEL?”
YOU’RE THE ONE I TRUST
I wish people understood that when someone opens up to them, it really is about trust. For the better part of my life, I trusted no one. The trauma and abuse I suffered throughout childhood and early adulthood made me shut myself off from the outside world and I honestly did not believe I couldContinue reading “YOU’RE THE ONE I TRUST”
I AM SO MUCH MORE
This quote hits home for me. There are so many horrible events that people could define me by and for the better part of my life I believe they did. For the better part of my life, I believe I was doing the same thing to myself, making it hard for others to see beyondContinue reading “I AM SO MUCH MORE”
EDUCATION NEEDED
As I have been on my healing journey, I have realized that we have a great need for education in our healthcare system. We really need to have far more trauma informed health care providers. Beyond that, there needs to be greater education regarding complex trauma and CPTSD which is far more complicated than someoneContinue reading “EDUCATION NEEDED”
WHAT I MUST TELL MYSELF
Sometimes, surviving recovery seems like a very difficult feat. I have been thinking a lot however, and I am starting to really believe that it is possible. I was fortunate enough to watch my youngest grandson last evening. He is almost five and autistic. He is nonverbal as well. I wanted his parents to beContinue reading “WHAT I MUST TELL MYSELF”
Breaking Patterns
When one grows up in utter chaos, it becomes the norm and all they know. Time goes on and anything other than chaos feels abnormal, wrong or uncomfortable. It seems then, that it would make sense, that if things are going along calmly, some sort of chaos must come into play to have life feelContinue reading “Breaking Patterns”
The Parentless Parent 